April Showers Bring...

NOTHING. April showers bring diddly-squat.

As promised, the biggest scam in Europe: Keukenhof Flower Gardens.  You see, Keukenhof, is supposed to be the largest tulip garden in the world comprised of millions of acres and trillions of bulb flowers.  OK, maybe not that many, but they were making some pretty big claims.  We considered ourselves very fortunate because the park is scheduled to close for the season just two days after our visit.  What splendid luck! We thought we had just made it!  Wrong.  Out of those millions and trillions of acres and flowers, probably 2% of them were actually in bloom at this time.  Honestly, the park has no business being open this late in the season.  But as Boo observed, it was very much like “Disneyworld with all of the rides broken” because the potential was there, but it didn’t make it suck any less.  It was almost like a slap in the face because of all the plants were still there – just with no blooms on them.

We decided to make the most of it, and took all the pictures we could of those small groups of flowers – nothing more than we would be able to plant in our front yard at home.  What’s worse is that we were on a tour that wasn’t scheduled to pick us up for another five hours.  If nothing else, it was a very relaxing outing.

What we were supposed to see.

What we actually saw.

What we were supposed to see.

What we actually saw.

But in all honesty, we did see some really beautiful flowers (albeit, they were extremely few).

That's a really natural pose.

Also, Boo and I evidently have a thing for wooden clogs - like we really dig them:

And for some reason, I think putting my hands on my hips is the only appropriate pose for clog photos.

Today we visited the Amsterdam Hermitage Museum.  According to Rick Steves (whom I swear by), the Hermitage of St. Petersburg has so much art that it can only show 5% of it at a time, so they lend it out to other satellite museums; therefore, the Amsterdam Hermitage has a continuously rotating collection.  The exhibition we saw consisted of art from the Russian Orthodox Church spanning ten centuries and it was really cool!  Everything was well explained and I think the museum is a converted monastery or convent, but it was super modern inside.  The whole thing was just really neat.  We ate lunch in Vonderpark and people watched and then we headed to the Heineken Brewery.

Now we’re on Boo’s turf.  Not only is Boozin in her name, but she has been to the Heineken Brewery before when she traveled around Europe with my Aunt Carol.  Well considering they no longer brew beer there, it’s a little different than it was 30 years ago.  This time around, we enjoyed the “Heineken Experience” full of high-tech extras, videos, and even a 4-D simulation ride.  It was overwhelming and cheesy and I loved it.  I’ve also been to the Guinness and Anheuser-Busch breweries and they all offer about the same fare – explanation of how water, barley, hops, and yeast make up beer.  Each of them dwells on the importance of the family business, their roots, and how they were started over 100 years ago.  They all offer free tasting afterwards.  But only Heineken offers a 4-D simulation ride, so Heineken is the clear winner.

This is a farce - no beer was being brewed there.

 Well besides, the beer being produced by their master brewer (pictured above).  I'm a natural.

 Waiting in line for the "Brew You" Ride.  Boo and I were real nervous.

 Just another weird thing at the Heineken Brewery.  I really didn't know what to make of that place.

Our sample Heineken at the end.

True to form.

 My life motto.

Our room in Amsterdam - Boo insisted I clean it before I took the picture, but I prefer to present the gritty truth.  (Disclaimer:  All strewn items are mine.  Boo is very neat and tidy).

And now we’re off to Italy! Gosh, such jet setters.